Short Story 2

Living a Lie
What if I had finished my schooling at the Victorian all girls Academy? What if I had long beautiful blonde hair like my sisters? What if I had lived at home with father instead of leaving him to care for Carolina, Sara, Mary, Mae, Mercy, Bessie, and Wendy? What if I had told the truth and was honest to myself from the start? We ask ourselves these questions everyday. Could we have done something better, different? Maybe if I stopped and listened, maybe I could have changed where I am today. Maybe? But I didn’t, so I was living a lie.
I thought I had it all. I lived with mother, father, and seven other sisters in the England country- side. We lived happily together, the ten of us; because our family was so big, we had no need for cooks or servants, we always got everything done. One night exactly one hundred and seventy three days ago, we were preparing dinner. We noticed we were out of bread. Dad was busy cooking the meat so mom volunteered to get it. We all agreed, but warily. She never came back. We like to pretend she got to chatting with an old friend, perhaps grandma was coming to see us and they are still in the tea shop debating on which tea to surprise us with. Dad and I know she was probably hurt and robbed of her money, these were trying days. Although no body was found, we still hope by some miracle she is out there perhaps just…lost. Women were not even supposed to be on the streets after dark, it was well after dark.
Carolina, Sara, Mary and I all go to finishing school. Mae and Mercy would be starting soon, Bessie a year later, and Wendy would follow in another three years. I would be long gone by then, married to some respectful gentlemen, maybe a duke or admiral. My debut dress would be gorgeous, my bridal gown even better; it would pool to the floor and I would wear long white gloves as my father walked me down the aisle. But then I met him. He had golden hair that fell to his shoulders and blew in the wind. He never came calling; he preferred to meet in the woods behind school under our tree. My friends were jealous that I had someone who cared so much about me.
One day, one hundred and seventy- four days since I last saw my mom, my friend Carmella’s suitor came, we giggled as we helped her dress to go see Harold. Ha ha, what a dorky name, and what more, he was thirty and a merchant. She raced down the hall and into the living room. She gave us a nasty smile before closing the door. We fought and squealed as we struggled to press our ears up against the door to hear what they were saying. Then Miss. Elizabeth came out, scolded us, escorted us to the library, and told us we were to study until free period. As soon as she left a big buzz started. They must be talking about something important because no one has ever, made us leave before. Rumors were going around faster than the influenza, everything from a cancellation of the engagement, to a super fast wedding this weekend! I, however, chose not to take part because I wouldn’t want someone gossiping behind my back and another part because my suitor had done nothing to suggest an engagement was close, let alone a marriage.
I was left alone to do my own thinking and realized I hardly knew him at all. If someone asked me his name I would not be able to answer. I couldn’t even tell you who his family was, if they were respected, or what he did in life. This hardly mattered seeing as only my friends and Carolina knew about him. “Katy?” Someone called off in the distance “Katy? Did you hear me? Study period is over. Hello are you even listening to me?”
“Oh sorry Dianne. What did you say?”
“Study period is over. Let’s go see how Carmella and her Harold fared.”
“You go; I think I am going out to my tree.”
“Okay,” she said with a mischievous smile. I waved her off and she flitted down the stairs. I moved much slower than her as I dragged myself to the big front doors. These past couple of weeks had been very stressful. Everyone had a suitor come, everyone except me that is. My teachers were starting to worry that I was going to be alone my whole life, my dad was upset. He thought he raised me wrong. I assured them I was waiting for the right somebody but my teachers started making me go to more and more teas, hoping someone would catch my eye. I needed him to come to school soon; the only way for him to know was to, yet again, explain everything.
I made my way out back, being extra careful not to get too dirty; Jess the maid noticed the mud on my stockings and was wondering why. Finally I arrived at the tree we always met under. He had moved a lavish golden couch so I wouldn’t get dirty. Just like always he was already there, as if he knew I was coming. I told him he really needed to introduce himself or I would be married to someone else. “Is meeting me here everyday not enough?” He asked.
“I love coming here but they are threatening to marry me off to Sir Patrick of Whales. Please, if you don’t come, at least let me know your name and status so that I may speak of you?”
“Fine, I suppose I have put that off too long. My name is William Wallace and if you must know I am a merchant’s son, training to become a sailor.” I was shocked, he looked like he came from royalty but he was no better than Carmella’s Harold.
“Are you going to become part of the King’s Navy?” I asked, still confused.
“No, nothing like that. A fishermen actually. I will catch fish and my dad can sell them. It is a father- son business my family has been doing for generations.” He smiled and pushed his hair behind his ears. I still couldn’t quite believe it. I must have looked stupid with my mouth hanging open and my eyes bulging. He noticed too and said “is something the matter? Katy, are you okay?” I then did something I thought I would never do in front of him. I completely broke down crying. When he reached out a hand of comfort I slapped it away like the brat I am. I then picked up my skirt and ran fleeting out of the woods and into Harold’s arms. He looked at me concerned, then recognized me as Carmella’s friend and, muttering soothing words, walked me back to school.
All around me people asked if I was okay, what happened, and if I got hurt? I didn’t answer, just stared at my sisters’ worried faces straight ahead. Jess then decided I should turn in early, they could ask me all the questions they wanted tomorrow. I was put in bed with blankets piled high and a cup of tea to soothe me, with extra sugar. I took a couple of sips then lay back. I heard my door creak open and three sets of feet enter, my sisters. I didn’t want to talk, so I feigned sleep. They stood around, I could hear their breath, and then one by one drifted out. Around nine I heard Carolina re-enter and get into bed.
Around midnight, I think, I woke up. I remember I had a really awful dream but I couldn’t remember what it was. Then I heard something hitting my window. Comfortable and cold, I wished whoever was making that noise would stop. When it didn’t I got out and threw back the window. Standing below was William Wallace with wild pansies, my favorite flower of all time. He motioned for me to come down. Because I was so petty, I shook my head. Then he did something only princes in my wildest dreams did, he climbed the vines to my window. Once he reached the top I thought about closing the window, but the flowers smelled so good. “What are you doing here?” I whispered.
“I have to tell you something.” When I did not say anything he continued. “My father and I are going out to sea… forever. We are moving to the Americas.” This sunk in. Sure I was mad at him but I really didn’t want to stop seeing him. For the second time I began to cry. He held me tight and stroked my hair.
“Why? Is it something I said? Please I don’t want to lose you.” I know it sounded like it came right out of a fairy-tale, but I loved him.
“Yes, there is something you could do. Run away with me?” I can’t believe he said that, so cliché of him, but I loved clichés.
“Okay, but where will we go?”
“Somewhere far. India maybe. If we are going, we have to leave tonight, the train is leaving soon.” I was silenced. I did not think it would be this soon. I thought I would be able to say good bye to my father, sisters, and friends. “I understand if you don…”
“No, I want to go its just s…”
“So soon? I know. Please come with me.” I did. By trusting in fate, I packed the one bag that would forever change my life and then debated on whether or not to leave a note. In the end I decided against it. My sisters and friends would probably guess and they could tell everyone. My father would blame himself but he had others to worry about. My teachers would probably be ashamed they did not see it, even some people may be arrested, but I didn’t care, I would be happy for the first time in one hundred and seventy- five days. I took his hand, and together we walked out of our own sheltered lives and into a world that was new, exotic, and un-structured.
I will spare you our entire journey and life in India, just know this, it wasn’t good. He kept badgering me for money. It’s not like I didn’t have it but, couldn’t he use some of his. Other than money, and the little work he did, we did not talk. I realized I did not love him anymore. I only loved the mystery about him and the fact he was off- limits. Now I knew him and no one could no longer tell me what I could and couldn’t do. We married, not officially, but we knew we were. After our first five years together, I was twenty- two, we decided to take a trip.
We debated for weeks until he decided it would be a surprise. We traveled by train and it took two days. Then the carriage ride took us through busy cities, winding roads, and bumpy hills. On the last leg of our journey he put a blind- fold on me “so you don’t know where we are.” He explained. Finally he arrived, the minute the blindfold left my eyes tears spilled out.
We were back in England; to be specific we were at our tree. I could feel a light breeze, smell the freshly cut grass, and hear shouts up at the school. We stayed for a while. I lost count. On one of the last days he went to meet someone about something. He left me and I got bored. I decided to go to the little stream. I took the long trek and I was in my red dress, I almost wished I changed, the sun was beating down. When I got there I saw him sitting with a young girl who was oddly familiar. No wait, she was more than familiar, she was my sister Bessie. Anger spilled out of my ears like steam would a kettle. I now know he was using us for our money; when I no longer provided it he went to her. Then I saw something that made me feel sick. She took off my mother’s necklace and he put it in a coin purse. The purse was very girly and looked just like my mothers… I ran back to our tree and wept with the realization. He never loved me, he loved the money my mom had, I had, and Bessie has. I then knew what I must do. I ripped pieces of the bottom of my dress and knotted them together. I looped it up and around the tree, put my neck through…
I will never forget his face as long as I remain here. He came back calling my name softly. When he saw me his mouth dropped and his eyes bulged. Then he silently took off all my jewelry and walked away into the mist of the forest.
I hope he would be caught, but no one would know about him, even in this diary. I wished this diary was real, but sadly its not. I write this diary form my new home as I watch him die, hoping he will not meet me here. I write this diary from a place far away that no one can reach me. I write this diary form the place I will remain forever in. Yes, I killed myself that day. I don’t know why, but I had to. I think if I didn’t I would never admit to him what I saw and then I would be living a lie. Now it has only been half and hour since I last saw my mom.
Forever and always,
Katy